Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon was born cool, but global warming made me hot!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:24 by Mmz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like to think myself as 'Special' I like to think myself as limited edition
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:20 by Mmz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally at my _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:19 by Mmz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some Women say they spend alot of money on makeup to make them look pretty, they also say we spend alot of money on beer but what they dont know is that its also to make them look pretty.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She was looking through the Chinese phone book earlier. There are so many Wings and Wongs. It must be so easy to Wing a Wong number.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 14:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies if another girl steals your boyfriend, there's no better revenge but to let her keep him
←Rate | 04-30-2010 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 73% of men don't know what a cookie is. But 99% know how to delete them.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 14:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon has the brains of a horse and is hung like Einstein.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 13:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that I can buy a song while on the toilet using my phone means no one is really working on cancer, are they?
←Rate | 04-30-2010 12:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a pirate, instead of having a stupid hook for one hand, I'd upgrade to some cooler attachments, like a blender, maybe a small cannon, some hedge trimmers etc.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 11:46 by jg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tito must be taking relationship lessons from Van Damme
←Rate | 04-30-2010 11:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world`s thinnest book entitled `What Woman Want has only one word written in it,""Everything"!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Captain Planet and the Planeteers need to go save the Gulf of Mexico.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's horrible? Accidentally seen your parents "doing it". I will NEVER go to THAT website again!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 10:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 33% of married women say their pet is a better listener than their husbands... 67% of pets say this crazy lady won't shut the hell up...
←Rate | 04-30-2010 09:51 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm scouring the periodic table for the element of surprise. I'm more anxious than the AZ Governor in a Cinco de Mayo parade.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 09:30 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  


   messageicon histogram - n. 1. A greeting card from ones gynocologist. 2. A cracker for a teacher of history.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 09:19 by @TimSWeber Comments (1)  


   messageicon if at first you don't succeed, won't hurt to smoke some weed
←Rate | 04-30-2010 07:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon contemplating the mysteries of universe, like the meaning of life, the workings of time, and whether of not Wang Chung was demanding or requesting that "Everybody Wang Chung tonight." The world may never know.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 07:47 by JRD Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course. I've never had to run so far in all my life!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 07:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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