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Dear BP: Animals soaking up the oil is not a spill response plan.
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05-02-2010 08:34 by
mike
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Just joined a new group...DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers
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05-02-2010 08:08
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If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.
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05-02-2010 07:13 by
abel254
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When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.
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05-02-2010 06:58 by
abel254
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Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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05-02-2010 06:43 by
abel254
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Insanity is hereditary ... you get it from your kids.
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05-02-2010 06:30 by
abel254
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I'm not breaking the rules ... I'm just testing their elasticity.
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05-02-2010 06:23 by
abel254
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Beware! I'm armed and have pre-menstrual tension!
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05-02-2010 06:07 by
abel254
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law of averages:The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
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05-02-2010 06:05 by
abel254
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All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
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05-02-2010 06:04 by
abel254
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I don't know who example555@hotmail.com is but I wish he would stop using my MSN Messenger.
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05-02-2010 05:12 by
lemonpillow
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I guess the cop knew I was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
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05-02-2010 02:41 by
paulb808
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after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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05-02-2010 02:39 by
paulb808
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The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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05-02-2010 02:36 by
paulb808
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I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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05-02-2010 02:34 by
paulb808
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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05-02-2010 02:33 by
paulb808
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Why does watching Twilight New Moon make me want to watch Teen Wolf!
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05-02-2010 01:11 by
@daddybullfrog1
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0
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Unite this Cinco de Mayo to keep sharpies out of the hands of young mexican girls' hands. Feel comfortable in your natural eyebrows ladies.
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05-02-2010 00:29 by
Not Worth Adding My Name
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...and thats when George Washington shot Hitler in the head.
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05-02-2010 00:02
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Cinco de mayo is the celebration of Mexico kicking the repo mans(France) a$$ who they owed money to and winning! It's true look it up!
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05-01-2010 23:41 by
@daddybullfrog1
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1
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