Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5956 of 6369
Clinton ruined a dress Obama ruined a nation!
hideing from "knuckles" the bookie, damn you Sugar Shane!
Think Big. Think Positive. Think Smart. Think Beautiful. Think Great. I know,that's too much for you, so here is a shortcut. JUST THINK ABOUT ME!
Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Sorry, you must've misunderstood me. I said: "you look fat in those pants!"
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05-02-2010 15:14
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Lady in the grocery store, your kid is about 4 years old, don't you think he needs to walk and not have his feet dragging in the stroller?
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05-02-2010 14:48 by mhenry
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a man bumps into his ex wifes new husband and asks " hows the second hand fanny ? " the man replies " it great thanks , after the first 3 inches , its like brand new !!! "
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05-02-2010 14:42
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Life is like a game of cards. If you don't have a partner, you better have a good hand.
thinks that Brunch makes Sunday morning binge drinking feel so civilized.
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05-02-2010 10:13
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It's easy to get people dancing at parties. Just hold up the line for the bathroom.
FOL = Fart Out loud
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05-02-2010 08:39
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Dear BP: Animals soaking up the oil is not a spill response plan.
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05-02-2010 08:34 by mike
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Just joined a new group...DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers
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05-02-2010 08:08
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If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.
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05-02-2010 07:13 by abel254
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When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.
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05-02-2010 06:58 by abel254
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Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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05-02-2010 06:43 by abel254
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Insanity is hereditary ... you get it from your kids.
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05-02-2010 06:30 by abel254
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I'm not breaking the rules ... I'm just testing their elasticity.
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05-02-2010 06:23 by abel254
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Beware! I'm armed and have pre-menstrual tension!
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05-02-2010 06:07 by abel254
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law of averages:The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
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05-02-2010 06:05 by abel254
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All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
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05-02-2010 06:04 by abel254
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