Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon May 4th is Star Wars Day. I hear to celebrate you have to go back to your parent's basement, spend all night alone in a costume, then retreat under the covers with a wookie photo, two cinnabuns, and a flashlight.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 23:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn predictive text! I swear, I honestly didn't say I wanna kick your puppy
←Rate | 05-03-2010 23:27 Comments (2)  


   messageicon A. B. C. D. E. F. G. Someone should've told you not to fu ck with me
←Rate | 05-03-2010 23:21 by one Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men don't cry........ Real men point and laugh at the fag thats crying...........
←Rate | 05-03-2010 22:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if the neighbors realize just how slow their Internet is...geezus I've been trying to watch 48 hours mystery for the last 2 hours!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 21:40 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that, that Veronica Vaughn is one piece of "ace"....I know from experience!!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 20:57 Comments (1)  


   messageicon What is the generic brand name for Viagra? Mycauxaphallon.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 20:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Blonde men aren't dumb, they're evil. Like in the Karate Kid and World War II." - Bart Simpson
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:48 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon has turned on Airplane mode on his Palm Pre, but so far it hasn't taken off.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:24 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon two nuns are riding their bikes down a small stone trail, one nun tells the other "wow, I've never came this way before", "yeah I know, it must be these stones
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:23 by one Comments (0)  


   messageicon As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:23 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering why women want men to open their car door for them, but yet they want to vote... PICK ONE!!!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:51 Comments (3)  


   messageicon pissed...I started off with a manic Monday, but decided to have a funday instead...but then someone stole the 'n' outta my funday and it's just been a f.u.day!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:41 by bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't look at me like I'm crazy when I ask if your store caries Ancient Indian Burial Ground Test Kits...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday Morning just logged me out due to inactivity...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It rubs the iPad on its skin or else it gets the Kindle again.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Unemployment Registry would make a lot more sense than a Wedding Registry.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon my 7 year old is all "F*ck homework!" and I'm all "I didn't adopt an Asian baby for you to suck at school!"
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's in a Walmart is like serving alcohol at an AA meeting.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (1)  




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