Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon facebook baby,i love you,even though you suck. . . or,maybe THAT is why I love you
←Rate | 05-05-2010 01:26 by spitfire Comments (0)  


   messageicon asks, What can brown do for you?... Brown will whoop ur ass, just ask Rhianna or Whitney
←Rate | 05-04-2010 23:54 by damier247 Comments (0)  


   messageicon waiting for you to say something intelligent .
←Rate | 05-04-2010 23:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you've been in a long relationship when you start retiring sex toys
←Rate | 05-04-2010 23:44 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon
←Rate | 05-04-2010 23:17 by one Comments (0)  


   messageicon You just read this sentence while I ramble on wasting your short life for no reason at all.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 23:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weird... I just found a haystack on top of this needle...
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon must be destined to be a nomad... nobody can live with me. i'd rather be a gypsy...then, I could go around making people thinner...or dead.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:42 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon This world is coming to an end.. Volcanoes, floods, earthquakes, Justin Bieber..
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my scientific side says "i'll believe it when I see it". my spiritual side says "i'll see it when I believe it". my drunken side says "what are we looking at?"
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, someone in Olympia Washington stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That sums up my day....you?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 21:57 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon lame...With that mentality come here I'll give you screwed 'til you're the strongest woman ever!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 21:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to thank everyone in this world that has ever screwed me over! You may be proud of yourself but, all in all, it will and, it has made me the strong woman that I am today! thank you
←Rate | 05-04-2010 21:34 Comments (2)  


   messageicon to the lady smoking a cig. with the windows rolled up, kids in the back seat: need I say anymore
←Rate | 05-04-2010 20:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was watching Bon Jovi unplugged was how I was gonna start this update til I realized I was admitting to watching Bon Jovi Unplugged!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 20:07 by @daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon busy kidnapping yard gnomes.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 19:47 by Caring-Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in attitude to turn your life around. =]
←Rate | 05-04-2010 19:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sly Pakistani guy try to fly sky high to Dubai. We deny. Bye, bye!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 19:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My biggest regret in life is eating whatever that was I found under my keyboard about 10 minutes ago.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 18:39 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy D!ck are the same person..
←Rate | 05-04-2010 18:35 by paulb808 Comments (0)  




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