Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   eerie parallel ... in Cast Away, Tom Hanks was stranded on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company ... now, Tom Hanks in is quarantine on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company.

   I'd like to put out an Amber alert for common sense...

   The World Health Organization came out today and said that dogs are immune from the COVID-19 virus, and that any dogs that have been placed in quarantine can be released. So to be clear....WHO let the dogs out.

   So, no baseball, hockey or basketball. What's next? No cornhole?

   I got the bread and mi....I mean toilet paper and handy wipes!

   Stocked up on the Merlot and chocolate. Bring the 3 week corona quarantine!

   Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....

   Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????

   My computer jsut asked me to check my virus protection, which one ?

   Going in like Rambo. No sanitizing wipes and I'm headed into wally world....

   Norwegian Cruises are offering buy 1 week get 2 free. Use promo code "CORONA"

   I like my Covid viruses like I like my women...19 and spreads easily.

   Coronavirus is cancelling everything but my bills

   Went to CVS to pick up a prescription and the receipt gave me enough toilet paper for a week. #Winning_Covid-19

   Why is it that the people who say "You don't need 500 rounds of ammunition" are the same people who are buying 500 rolls of toilet paper?

   I'd rather be quarantined with my family than with the finest people in the world.

   All professional sports are cancelled, and we aren't supposed to touch ourselves. Men who don't play video games are gonna have a lot of time to kill this weekend.

   UMMM maybe we should of had stronger border restrictions

   Wash your hand long enough to pray

   All those unmatched socks are gonna finally be put to good use with the toilet paper shortage going on.