Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5933 of 6369
going to start a dating site for gangsters. bone thugs and e harmony
Lady Gaga looks likes she's been covered in glue and she's just collected crap as she walks past stuff
←Rate |
05-10-2010 01:18
Comments (1)
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police
←Rate |
05-09-2010 23:14 by BEGO
Comments (0)
if a man says to a woman,"Girl, you better go in the kitchen and bring me a sandwich," Do you know what a good comeback for that ladies? You better "comeback" with a God damn sandwich.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 22:01 by Tracy
Comments (3)
I love how everyone seems to be able to sing on facebook *singing*
←Rate |
05-09-2010 20:36 by Ikaelelo
Comments (0)
Growing up my mom would take me to the toy store and be so patient as I sat their for a long time trying to make a decision about which toy to buy...thank God she doesn't have to go to the liquor store with me now.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 19:40 by Gary B
Comments (0)
The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).
When I was in kindergarten my teacher told the class to sit Indian style. So I grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey and laid in gutter
←Rate |
05-09-2010 17:36
Comments (1)
I used to go out with a homeless girl. It was great because after sex I could just drop her off anywhere
←Rate |
05-09-2010 17:27
Comments (0)
NOTE TO SELF: Don't forget to NOT to discuss your personal life on FB. And pick up rash cream..........
←Rate |
05-09-2010 16:41
Comments (0)
Tiger withdraws from the golf tournament due to a neck injury, I bet he could sure use a swedish massage.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 16:01
Comments (0)
I would say Happy Mothers Day on this, but my mom doesn't have a Facebook so it wouldn't matter.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 15:26
Comments (0)
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters
←Rate |
05-09-2010 13:58
Comments (1)
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
←Rate |
05-09-2010 13:57
Comments (0)
looks like I won't be updating my status today..
←Rate |
05-09-2010 13:49
Comments (1)
If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a helpful lizard putting a city back together and leaving afterwards.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 13:36 by David
Comments (0)
been to the dark side...they lied about the candy
←Rate |
05-09-2010 13:34
Comments (0)
Hold your mother today, she was the first to hold you, she held you for 9 months.
A mother my have a thousand daughters but a daughter has only one mother
A woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.
←Rate |
05-09-2010 12:13 by Mduduzi
Comments (0)