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whoever said "never regret" obviously never had taco bell
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05-11-2010 20:00
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If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, Obama supporters would have the White House filled with pimps and sluts
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05-11-2010 19:54 by
one
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If BP needs a giant box to contain all the oil, they can call any of my ex-girlfriends.
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05-11-2010 18:06 by
bigboyindiego
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It's a shame how so many of you have such nice, expensive, in many cases even brand new cars and yet the turn signals don't seem to work.
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05-11-2010 17:36 by
Joser
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If it weren't for my feet I don't know how I'd ever shut the car door.
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05-11-2010 17:33 by
Joser
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Do I even want to know how one would contract herpes of the eye?
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05-11-2010 17:32 by
Joser
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remember..we are all just human...except Ryan Seacrest...he's a midget alien from Mars.
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05-11-2010 17:28
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I am anxious about how much Xanax I'm taking.
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05-11-2010 17:26 by
Joser
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Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker...
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05-11-2010 17:26 by
Joser
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Somebody slipped a hangover in my drink last night
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05-11-2010 17:25 by
Joser
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Playboy in 3-D! Take that, 18 billion hours of free, readily available Internet porn.
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05-11-2010 17:22 by
Joser
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I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
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05-11-2010 17:21 by
paulb808
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haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
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05-11-2010 17:18 by
pailb808
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Dear gigantic flock of birds chirping loudly in the parking lot sh*ting all over my car, There's still more north left... Go annoy Canada...
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05-11-2010 17:16 by
Joser
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I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
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05-11-2010 17:14
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Someone at work said to me, "Inquiring minds want to know if you have a boyfriend" I said, "Yes, I do, but don't tell my husband."
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05-11-2010 17:11
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If the game doesn't freeze every 6 minutes, then you're not watching FOX.
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05-11-2010 17:08 by
CJ
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I do not have the time to listen to you whine, you melodramatic fool!!
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05-11-2010 17:06
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Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
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05-11-2010 17:05
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Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what's on my mind. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
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05-11-2010 17:02
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