Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon if Charles is in Charge of our days and our nights, who's this God guy people are talking about?
←Rate | 05-22-2010 03:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon With great power comes a great electric bill
←Rate | 05-22-2010 03:10 by l33t Comments (0)  


   messageicon finds the ginkgo biloba pill kinda funny...its for helping ur memory but you got to remember to take the pill in order for it to work
←Rate | 05-22-2010 01:31 by Edward Stettler Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just descovered 3 words to make any teenager run in terror. "Time To Clean".....
←Rate | 05-22-2010 00:47 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesn't it feel like the Facebook friends who NEVER respone to your posts are secretly judging you?
←Rate | 05-21-2010 23:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been having 3-somes with hot twins. My friends ask how I tell them apart. Its easy... Lisa is the one with long blond hair and Luke is the one with the six pack and hairy legs
←Rate | 05-21-2010 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .Of course Margaritaville sounds nice but living there would suck.. There's probably a DUI stop every 8 feet. And Living on Sponge cake? Really? Gross!!!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 21:36 by MemeA Comments (0)  


   messageicon better pay his COX cable bill before they cut our COX off...
←Rate | 05-21-2010 19:44 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's time to take back our country!" Fine. Just return it to your nearest Indian casino.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents inThis Economy is soo bad... Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My philosophy? People who have creepy dungeons probably don't wear a watch. So, when a stranger asks for the time, I pepper spay them.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:47 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon The Deadliest Catch would be so much cooler if they'd plant a serial killer on each boat.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where did Macaulay Culkin get the cardboard people for the party in Home Alone? Don't tell me you haven't also wondered this from time to time.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss The Oregon Trail. Life seemed so simple when your biggest worry was killing enough buffalo before you died of dysentery.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my upstairs neighbors are shouting about who can stomp the loudest.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:45 by Joser Comments (0)  




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