flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I eat alot of king sized candy bars. Not because I like alot of candy, but because I'm of a royalty.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 01:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since this is the last time for the space shuttle, I think we should all dress up as extras from Planet of the Apes when they land
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching a Travel Channel show on ghosts. I don't buy the Massachusetts ghost in the red flannel shirt. Thats a meth addict, not a ghost.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a faded sign at the sign of the road. However there was no mention of a love shack.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon NAACP blasts CNN for its lack of diversity in prime time. Strangely silent on MSNBC wonderbread lineup.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 17:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Naming a male baby is rarely easy. Go with a cool name, like Nosferatu.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 17:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Natalie Portman has named her newborn son Alef. Like the kid wasn't going to get beaten up enough for mom helping to ruin Star Wars.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new ending to Harry Potter is lame. He says Abra Cadabra and Steve Miller reaches out and grabs Voldemort.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida, you just want attention don't you? Casey Anthony, Tim Tebow, the election of 2000. Its always about you, isn't it?
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to relive my single days when my wife gets home late by eating dinner standing over the sink.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canadian bacon is just ham wrapped in a lie
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so predictable..I bet you're even reading this status right now.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon the next person that tells me they have a 3 day weekend is getting a firework shoved up their poop shoot!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 16:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're the type of neighbor that likes to scream and yell till 3am, then I'll be the type of neighbor to mow at 6am!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 08:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shia LaBeouf has every vowel in his name, which might be the most interesting thing about him.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 06:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:44 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West leaned back in his chair, stroking his Persian cat. His scheme to become the biggest douche in the world was coming to fruition.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 06:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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