Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5886 of 6367
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds mature.
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05-29-2010 15:22 by Pacumbo
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Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
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05-29-2010 15:21 by Pacumbo
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Okay, so celebrities usually die in 3's... So far, Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman... who's next?
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05-29-2010 14:28 by Bonnie
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If celebs die in 3's... I hope Sarah Jessica Parker goes next... shes a horse face and a false prophet. Oh and everyone dies at the end of Sex 2!
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05-29-2010 14:07
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of course men can multi task.... we can read the news paper and sh*t at the same time
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05-29-2010 12:56
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wondering if #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2
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05-29-2010 12:20 by Chloe XD
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poor Gary Coleman...he lived such a short life.
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05-29-2010 12:08
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lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about this...
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05-29-2010 08:57
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I think some ppl should read the new book "Get A Life™"...by "X"®
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05-29-2010 08:48 by g-spot
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Baby monkey: mum, I wonder why we are so ugly. Monkey mum: thank God for our good looks, wait till you see who'se reading this.
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05-29-2010 07:23
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hey leave me alone, i'm living happily ever after
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05-29-2010 06:02 by zen989
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My status has a crush on someone.
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05-28-2010 23:41 by BEGO
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Please! You're only older than me because your parents decided to have unprotected sex before mine did. At least mine didn't make a mistake that night.
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05-28-2010 22:45 by Danmanz
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Saying "Let me call you back" is just a nicer or rather messed up way for a woman to say she doesn't wanna talk to you.
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05-28-2010 22:30 by Danmanz
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WHAT?!?! Gary Coleman is dead?! What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!?!?!
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05-28-2010 19:58
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Breaking News: Utah police are seeking the Gooch in connection with the death of Arnold Jackson. Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800)-555-TIPS all calls are strictly confidential.
Why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer? A Prostitute can clean her crack and sell it again!
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05-28-2010 19:40 by Pacumbo
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A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and asks, ‘You wanna play 'magic'?' She responds, ‘What's that?' He says, ‘Well we go back to my place and screw, and then you disappear!'
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05-28-2010 19:10 by Pacumbo
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Just Saw A Bumper Sticker That Said... "My High School Dropout, Knocked Up Your Honor Roll Student..."
What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....
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05-28-2010 15:49 by geez
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