Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A.  The bonds mature.
←Rate | 05-29-2010 15:22 by Pacumbo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Impotence: Nature's way of  saying  'No hard feelings...' 
←Rate | 05-29-2010 15:21 by Pacumbo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, so celebrities usually die in 3's... So far, Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman... who's next?
←Rate | 05-29-2010 14:28 by Bonnie Comments (2)  


   messageicon If celebs die in 3's... I hope Sarah Jessica Parker goes next... shes a horse face and a false prophet. Oh and everyone dies at the end of Sex 2!
←Rate | 05-29-2010 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon of course men can multi task.... we can read the news paper and sh*t at the same time
←Rate | 05-29-2010 12:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2
←Rate | 05-29-2010 12:20 by Chloe XD Comments (0)  


   messageicon poor Gary Coleman...he lived such a short life.
←Rate | 05-29-2010 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about this...
←Rate | 05-29-2010 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think some ppl should read the new book "Get A Life™"...by "X"®
←Rate | 05-29-2010 08:48 by g-spot Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby monkey: mum, I wonder why we are so ugly. Monkey mum: thank God for our good looks, wait till you see who'se reading this.
←Rate | 05-29-2010 07:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey leave me alone, i'm living happily ever after
←Rate | 05-29-2010 06:02 by zen989 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My status has a crush on someone.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 23:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please! You're only older than me because your parents decided to have unprotected sex before mine did. At least mine didn't make a mistake that night.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 22:45 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying "Let me call you back" is just a nicer or rather messed up way for a woman to say she doesn't wanna talk to you.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 22:30 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHAT?!?! Gary Coleman is dead?! What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!?!?!
←Rate | 05-28-2010 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: Utah police are seeking the Gooch in connection with the death of Arnold Jackson. Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800)-555-TIPS all calls are strictly confidential.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 19:52 by JoeSolariFX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does a prostitute make more money than  a drug dealer? A Prostitute can clean her crack and sell it again! 
←Rate | 05-28-2010 19:40 by Pacumbo Comments (0)  


   messageicon A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and asks, ‘You wanna play 'magic'?' She responds, ‘What's that?' He says, ‘Well we go  back to my place and  screw, and then you disappear!'
←Rate | 05-28-2010 19:10 by Pacumbo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just Saw A Bumper Sticker That Said... "My High School Dropout, Knocked Up Your Honor Roll Student..."
←Rate | 05-28-2010 15:49 by rileyshultz@aol.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....
←Rate | 05-28-2010 15:49 by geez Comments (1)  




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