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A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
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05-31-2010 20:11 by
Tracy
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likes waking up after a nap and finding out theres a whole night to go with that kinky dream!"
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05-31-2010 18:34
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"Every time I see a mattress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls."
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05-31-2010 18:28 by
Shannon
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Can I have your phone number, so I can call you the next time I have a 4 hour erection?
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05-31-2010 17:33
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pretty drowsy......he's pretty sure he has a nap for that....
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05-31-2010 17:31 by
gnarleycharley@mac.com
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"We can still be friends" is like saying "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it"
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05-31-2010 16:58 by
Laurent
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Definition of stupid; person who locks their keys in the car...and it takes them an hour to get their family out.
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05-31-2010 15:43 by
Stellar M
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...easy there, don't cry, it's OK. Everyone makes mistakes...take your parents for example
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05-31-2010 15:33 by
Stellar M
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I'm not feeling myself today... anyone else wanna try?
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05-31-2010 15:14 by
Marshall the Great
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Since practice makes perfect, I must thank my parents for not givin' up on the first try. :)
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05-31-2010 15:10 by
Marshall the Great
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preparing for confession. Anyone have an unused condom?
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05-31-2010 15:00 by
X
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"Money cannot buy you happiness but id rather cry in my ferrari...."
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05-31-2010 14:32
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Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.
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05-31-2010 14:12 by
Aaron
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- I heard my mates's girlfriend say to him..."You'd be fitter if you exercised you lazy f**k".....I could't help myself interrupting and said to her...."You'd be a lot f**kin fitter if you were your sister"....
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05-31-2010 13:55 by
Y.P
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At the beach life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun.
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05-31-2010 13:21 by
lemonpillow
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
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05-31-2010 12:52 by
Bacha
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The tip of the day: Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night!
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05-31-2010 12:18
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is surprised that some group of backwoods pudknockers hasn't yet blamed President Obama for CAUSING the BP oil leak in the Gulf.
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05-31-2010 11:51
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wonders how exactly does one wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy?
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05-31-2010 10:27
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Quitting Facebook over privacy is like moving out of your house because you can't be bothered to lock the door....
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05-31-2010 09:15 by
Craneman
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