Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I really don't care if he runs this country into the ground. As long as he pisses off the libs.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if he is calling you a 10/10 he calling you a 1. Do the math!
←Rate | 10-12-2019 06:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We bought an 82 inch TV. Football: awesome Porn: terrifying
←Rate | 10-12-2019 10:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Permanently deleted my Facebook account and going back to the old way of social networking called talking.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let the bodies hit the floor" sounds like a sequel to "It's raining men"
←Rate | 10-12-2019 10:43 by MrSharp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady stabbed a guy singing Christmas Songs at the Mall. I bailed her out.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 12:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating is like garage sales where everything looks great from a distance but up close you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 14:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canadian thanksgiving this weekend. Don’t forget to eat a beaver.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still being single at the age of 32 just means I statistically avoided my first divorce.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sushi's just never quite as good re-heated the next day.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hear me out.. A swear jar, but you take a piece of paper out and have to yell what’s written on it
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no hitter
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vanilla latte w soy milk is technically a 3 bean soup but none of yall are ready to talk about that huh??
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys I just seen this girl crying outside of my local mall. I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance. When God blesses you, you must bless others. Spread love
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon NASA plans on looking for water on other planets besides Mars..... I would drink water from other planets. I’m not sure about water from Uranus, though
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want people to leave you alone this fall? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor prescribed me some suppositories for my nausea.... It's not the best medicine in the world, but they’re right up there.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to know the secret to success? Delete your Facebook account.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’re over 45. Better tell the cashier how many deer were in the yard this morning.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dealing with my anger issues one chicken wing at a time.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 17:27 Comments (0)  




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