Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon doesn't want a piece of cake, but the whole bloody bakery!
←Rate | 08-03-2009 12:20 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've heard that supermarkets waft bakery smells around the store to subconsciously encourage customers to buy bread. I can only guess that my local Costcutter supermarket is trying to encourage its customers to buy toilet rolls.
←Rate | 08-03-2009 06:25 by roon | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows, and knowing is half the battle.
←Rate | 08-02-2009 23:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon the Power of Grey Skull
←Rate | 08-02-2009 20:34 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking Up ToThe Sky Hoping To See A Falling Star So I Can Wish you Were Here By My Side..
←Rate | 08-02-2009 18:54 by CALZ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking About That Special Girl Who Is Probably Reading This Right Now.
←Rate | 08-02-2009 18:50 by CALZ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading another chapter of How to Make Balloon Animals for Dummies - So far I can make a snake...
←Rate | 08-02-2009 14:27 by ®yan Comments (0)  


   messageicon busy playing fetch with his Chia pet
←Rate | 08-02-2009 13:13 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon headed back to 1988 to pick up a few thousand Microsoft stocks
←Rate | 08-02-2009 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to give you a taylor swift kick in the ass!!
←Rate | 08-02-2009 13:08 by exotic | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon in control of his Lysdexia....
←Rate | 08-02-2009 09:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon finally found out your password, dont bother changing it, I already did!
←Rate | 08-02-2009 02:53 by DaNnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon to me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks.
←Rate | 08-02-2009 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon will take his martini shaken or stirred. Frankly, he doesn't think there's much difference.
←Rate | 08-01-2009 21:41 by bondfan | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking at paradise....by the dashboard light....
←Rate | 08-01-2009 21:24 by Jody | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my crotch.
←Rate | 08-01-2009 13:27 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon This weekends forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out
←Rate | 08-01-2009 13:27 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do farmers always put their gates right next to the muddiest parts of the field?
←Rate | 08-01-2009 11:47 by roon | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to get a puppy and call it Sparta. Then when people say 'Oh how cute, what's it's name' I can shout 'This is SPAAAAARTAAA' in their face.
←Rate | 08-01-2009 10:32 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon would so do Lois Griffin from family guy.
←Rate | 08-01-2009 06:25 by ritchie_bonk | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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