Funny Status Messages

   Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.

   wants you to know that you have my undivided, continuous, partial attention.

   not a OBGYN. But, I will take a look!

   when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers..

   always relates everything he does with sports even when he's not watching or playing sports, well if anyone wants to know the score for today's game it was the Lawnmowers 42, Frogs 0."

   went to his first gambling anonymous meeting last night.. They gave me 2:1 odds that I won't make it...

   There are 10 types of people in the world...Those that understand Binary Code and those that do not!!

   I figure there are 3 types of people in this world....Those that can count, and those that cannot!!

   All my friends who have Girlfriends want to be single... All my friends who are single want girlfriend friends... As for me, I just want a slave...

   The idea is to die young as late as possible

   wondering if you have sex with a girl with multiple personalities, is it considered a "orgy"?

   It's obvious that Ed Hardy is g@y. No straight man would decide he would rather design clothing than solve mysteries with his brothers...

   Eating kidney beans is a very small step towards cannibalism...

   Bronchitis is my least favorite dinosaur.

   A leopard can't change its spots, unless it has Photoshop.

   Thomas Kinkade was arrested for drunk driving...I wonder how long until he releases his new painting, "lights through the jailhouse window"?

   If you're so much better than the leading brand... why aren't you the leading brand?

   - Kim Jong-il says to Brasil players: Oul lockets have vely long lange!

   thinks that hard work never killed anybody, but wht take the chance?

   thinks this world is filled with mistakes and regrets, but it's all a lesson. Learn from it.