Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I will take "Reasons for not wanting to work today" for $200 Alex
←Rate | 06-16-2010 10:08 by Stephanie Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't seem to finish anything that he sta
←Rate | 06-16-2010 09:59 by Douglas Comments (0)  


   messageicon has poor taste in clothing... I've seen wounds dressed better than me.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 09:46 by Douglas Comments (0)  


   messageicon men go to the bars to get laid and women go there to tease
←Rate | 06-16-2010 09:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 09:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way my luck runs, if I were hanging on to the side of a cliff for dear life, the person reaching down to pull me up would be a leper.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 08:23 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With ahunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 07:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard that the teen years are a time of rapid changes. I agree, but not exactly what I was expecting; since my daughter has turned 13 I have aged 20 years.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 07:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Precision. Concentration. Patience & Fearlessness. 4 skills I possess whilst shavin my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life!
←Rate | 06-16-2010 06:26 by @clarkysj Comments (2)  


   messageicon am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens
←Rate | 06-16-2010 05:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before an argument with your wife/girlfriend, they should read you your Miranda rights........because whatever you say WILL be used against you.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 03:04 by Needleroozer Comments (0)  


   messageicon The word tsunami is not in my phones predictive text dictionary. So if you get a text from me saying, thumang!! Get the off the beach.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 02:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishing he lived life like Cyde & Ely Shoelace on youtube!!!
←Rate | 06-15-2010 23:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever think that Kermit looked at Mrs. Piggy and said, gee.... I sure would like me some bacon.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 23:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon takes the "THE" out of psychotherapist...
←Rate | 06-15-2010 23:30 by Scott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Adam should have spent more than just a rib......Just saying...
←Rate | 06-15-2010 22:52 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon honestly......who bends over to pick a nickel up off the ground anymore.....
←Rate | 06-15-2010 22:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami
←Rate | 06-15-2010 22:39 by Señor Frog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, I have to stop yelling at this TV like the Celtic players can hear me! It's not making them play better and it is making me hoarse.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 21:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon flipping channels and saw a girl I hooked up with about a year ago on the Maury show talking about she had only been with two guys and she was 100% he was the father of her baby. It was hilarious! I stopped laughing when Maury said you are not the father
←Rate | 06-15-2010 21:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  




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