Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5839 of 6369
When meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time it's hard not to think to yourself... "I've licked your daughter's nipples."
thank you for trojan for sending the defective condom in the pack my parents bought, thanks to you, I'M HERE!!! Happy Fathers day DAD!!!!!
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06-18-2010 02:21
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writing his name on a steemed mirror,,,,,,
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06-18-2010 02:19 by H.RAYAT
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Thank you dad for not pulling out!! (to be used on father's day)
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06-18-2010 02:19
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never going to Costco hungry again, I just spent 200 bucks on chips and dip...WTF!!?
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06-18-2010 01:57 by kenken
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wondering why he/she is talking in 3rd person, hmmm he/she is still thinking
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06-18-2010 01:24
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concerned by the NBA champions LA LAKERS with Ron Artest thanking his "hood", Phil telling his guys to grab their loose balls, and Kobe doin work so much to get his man Phil back once again.
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06-18-2010 00:18 by jm554221
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I hate allergies! Does anybody know how to turn Meth back into Sudafed? Just asking!
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06-17-2010 23:22
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Bottle of lotion $ 2.59, Box of Kleenex $3.19 Roll of pictures taken of random girls at the beach $6.50 Having your wife walk in and see it is not pictures of her , PRICELESS
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06-17-2010 22:58
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I Think there is in every girl's life a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.
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06-17-2010 22:47 by BEGO
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Playing hide and go seek in walmart... I take mature and classy to whole new levels
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06-17-2010 22:09
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I would like to thank Benny Hill for turning me on to British humor and all natural Breast when I was a kid... Still funny and still awesome!!!
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06-17-2010 22:07 by JEMAVA
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millions of my potential children died on your sisters face last night!!
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06-17-2010 21:15
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thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said..."I drank what?"
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06-17-2010 20:50 by joyce
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I like to follow up a compliment with a threat. For example, "Nice shirt! I'll fight you for it."
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06-17-2010 20:26 by Joser
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Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist.
on Facebook for social networking; not for digital farms and aquariums. Quit asking me to adopt your fish or join your farm because really I don't care if your fish dies or if your entire farm burns. Thanks :)
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06-17-2010 19:49
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says If the NBA really wanted me to watch, they'd be playing Hockey instead eh!!
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06-17-2010 19:07
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hates facebook! you ever go to click on someones name in chat n they log off.
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06-17-2010 19:05 by L
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I can't wait to go home and rip off my ex-girl friend's underwear!! They have been giving me wedgies all day
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06-17-2010 19:04 by Vito
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