Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Fact: If a person thinks they're big enough to stick their nose in someone else's buisness, be big enough to take it when it gets bitten off!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 18:53 by TheOne Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard that Greece won at the world cup today...given their recent debt write downs it's a good thing they didn't have to buy a goal.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 18:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The strawberry shampoo doesn't taste as good as it smells.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon is wondering why people ask tall people if they play basket ball but not ask short people if they work for willy wonka
←Rate | 06-17-2010 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the NBA really wanted me to watch, they'd be play Football instead!!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 17:52 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When sh*t dont look right, Start a fight.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:51 by LD4 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really classmate.com you're really gonna stay in business...even though Facebook does what you do for free?
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon theres so much more room for activites!!!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS: * Wake/Viewing will be on Thurs., June 17th, 6 pm.* The funeral and burial will be at The Staples Center, 111 S. Figueroa Los Angeles, Ca. 90015..* Special invited guests include K. Bryant, D. Fisher, R. Artest, P. Gas
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:29 by Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon come on BP...Mary Ann or Ginger would have had this leak in the Gulf fixed without any help from the Progessor BY NOW!!!!!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:28 by j Migas Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves each and every one of you. Happy opposite day everyone!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:28 by Jesse Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:25 by Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon Each Day we wake up and go about our daily business, the majority of us live oblivious to the seriousness of just how bad BP has really hurt all of us with their ongoing leak in the Gulf
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you're a Navy SEAL doesn't make your sister pretty.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this day were any better, I'd be pulling my pecker out from under an anvil...
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 0110001001101111011011110110001001110011 hint: binary
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Never go to Traffic Court and say, "Shut up, Your Honor...I'm not done talking."
←Rate | 06-17-2010 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do BP executives and my wife have in common? Neither has done any real pipe work in 54 days.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just sprayed my wife with Axe body spray. Now I'm just waiting for a bunch of hot chicks to come rip her clothes off like on those commercials.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 15:04 by mat2sm00th Comments (0)  




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