Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5835 of 5966

   messageicon thinks that no one should die because of zombies if they cannot afford a shotgun, or even just a machete, and no one should be turned into a vampire if they get bit by one--or a werewolf for that matter. If you agree, post this as your status for the rest
←Rate | 09-04-2009 15:29 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that Snoop Dogg's favorite type of weather is drizzle
←Rate | 09-04-2009 15:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad there isn't a "Go to hell! Go directly to hell! Do NOT pass go! Do NOT get $200!" card!
←Rate | 09-04-2009 14:23 by EJH587 hehe. can u guess who i am jordan???? | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "if you are one of those that can understand him you're one of the few........the proud.....tha marines.....
←Rate | 09-04-2009 14:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one should die because they drank too much beer, and no one should go broke because they bought too much beer. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.
←Rate | 09-04-2009 13:28 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a pocket full of sunshine
←Rate | 09-04-2009 13:27 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dream... but he's gonna stay smart and not make a big deal out of it
←Rate | 09-04-2009 12:51 by Sean | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs a toaster when you have an iron?
←Rate | 09-04-2009 12:47 by Sean | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders when Ben and Jerry's is going to do the fair thing and follow up "Hubby Hubby" with "Lickity Splitz" ?
←Rate | 09-04-2009 12:34 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon cooler than the other side of the pillow
←Rate | 09-04-2009 12:17 by Joe Schreiner | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon as smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!
←Rate | 09-04-2009 11:31 by Mike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon tried marking HIS territory by throwing flip-flops over the power lines in front of his turf...but then realized flip flops don't have shoe strings to get caught after 11 throws. Unfortunately, he has no shoe strings to tie them together since ...he was w
←Rate | 09-04-2009 07:40 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a headache because he decided to have a glass of Orange Juice; the bottle said "concentrate," and now he believes the damn OJ actually did it. At least the Simpsons are on.
←Rate | 09-04-2009 07:39 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon really hopes tomorrow night is not the night when he finally is profiled on "America's Most Wanted."
←Rate | 09-04-2009 07:33 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon not the man who he used to be
←Rate | 09-04-2009 03:51 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never thought I would live to see another President worse then Jimmy Carter, but it appears I am being corrected....
←Rate | 09-03-2009 22:08 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks DJ AM should have been buried in the morning......just sayin'
←Rate | 09-03-2009 17:00 by troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesnt watch Dancing with the stars, or American Idol, for the same reason he doent eat or drink anything soy, because hes afraid to put toomuch estrogen in his system.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 16:26 by PEDRO | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a recent survey showed .0025% of woman think about "x" during sex, in a similar study, "x" thinks about "x" 100% of the time during sex.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 16:23 by Pedro | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon you look so beautiful.......GOD THIS THING SUCKS AT SARCASM
←Rate | 09-03-2009 14:42 by blade Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left