Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   you wouldn't happen to have your missing DVD player's remote... would you?

   repairing his/her wall. Thanks Kool Aid Man.

   a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in there with you and a sister will stand outside the cell laughing at you

   No Budweisor I have not been drinking any officers tonight

   ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠

   Go Go Gadget status!

   Why put G20 in heaviest populated city in Canada? It's not like we don't have room anywhere else in the second largest country in the world....

   a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!

   Whats that Mr. Churchill; you say the germans are picking on your nation again, and you want need some help.

   Sometimes in order to see the light, you must blind yourself to bullsh*t

   A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!

   Opportunity knocks but once... if Opportunity knocks twice...Opportunity walks in and steals your TV set

   They say "don't drink and drive" but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while on my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous!

   Of all great losses in life, Time is the most irrecoverable. It can never be redeemed.

   I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless. And in this moment I am happy..

   World Cup 2010 Winner is Arge███████ loading 73%

   Ok England fans...you were saying?...."sounds of silence"

   4-1 Germany over England LOL....guess "YOUR" sport has passed you by...

   England fans : If it makes you feel any better, the cricket team is doing well against the Aussies...

   Did you ever notice that all lesbians look like Justin Bieber?