Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5818 of 6367

   messageicon Of all great losses in life, Time is the most irrecoverable. It can never be redeemed.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:53 by jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless. And in this moment I am happy..
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon World Cup 2010 Winner is Arge███████ loading 73%
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok England fans...you were saying?...."sounds of silence"
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4-1 Germany over England LOL....guess "YOUR" sport has passed you by...
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:16 Comments (5)  


   messageicon England fans : If it makes you feel any better, the cricket team is doing well against the Aussies...
←Rate | 06-27-2010 12:08 by Vishal Vakil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you ever notice that all lesbians look like Justin Bieber?
←Rate | 06-27-2010 11:13 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to get a signal on it's IPhone 4.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 09:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 06:39 by sam rabee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't spend your night watching porn and eating cheese balls
←Rate | 06-27-2010 06:17 by jack Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you save justin bieber from drowning? YOU DON'T
←Rate | 06-27-2010 06:13 by JACK Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in angels, The kind that heaven sends, I am surrounded by angels, But I call them friends.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 00:39 by sam rabi Comments (0)  


   messageicon hoping that "number six" is the charm. Have another Slim Jim, Mr. Cheney!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 00:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not say that my ex-wife is psychotic but Freddy Kruger asked me to hide the sleeping pills.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every illegal immigrant we catch here...We should harvest their stem cells, organs, bone marrow, bones,skin,and Eyes...Bet they won't be so froggy to jump the boarder when they see a guy with a dialysis machine standing there saying I want his kidneys!!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2010 23:37 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I wonder if Toyota sent BP a Thank You note
←Rate | 06-26-2010 22:23 by christineusar Comments (2)  


   messageicon Dear Walmart: If your employees "appear" to be incredibly overweight, they ought to know that fitting in to a size 2 gives the wrong impression of your organization. I do not enjoy viewing what looks like to be a belly button when I approach an employee.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 22:16 by christineusar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you wanna know how Interesting Soccer is to the Average American? Let's See, I'll name the two soccer players I've ever heard of.. David Beckham and.. I think Rod Stewart Played years ago."
←Rate | 06-26-2010 21:01 by Dylan Bosch Comments (1)  


   messageicon Pessimists see the Glass as Half Empty, Optmisits as Half Full. Rationals see the Glass as two times bigger than necessary.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 20:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon celebrated Michael Jackson's Anniversary by taking the kids to Toy R Us...he woulda liked that...
←Rate | 06-26-2010 20:37 by heZz Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left