Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5817 of 6367

   messageicon always feels so weird after having hot dreams about my friends. I find it hard to look them in the eye for the few days after.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 07:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 05:06 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Africans finally have the chance to tell the English to go back to their own country!
←Rate | 06-28-2010 01:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Hey, hey!!!- Wait, nope it's just raining.....figures!
←Rate | 06-28-2010 00:30 by Gr`apes Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to develop a life off of facebook.....as you can see, its not working.....
←Rate | 06-27-2010 21:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spongebob is no longer living in his pineapple under the sea. He's kicking it in my tub. It's gonna take a while to get the oil off he says.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 21:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the body.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 21:11 by jeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon you wouldn't happen to have your missing DVD player's remote... would you?
←Rate | 06-27-2010 20:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon repairing his/her wall. Thanks Kool Aid Man.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 20:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in there with you and a sister will stand outside the cell laughing at you
←Rate | 06-27-2010 18:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Budweisor I have not been drinking any officers tonight
←Rate | 06-27-2010 18:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
←Rate | 06-27-2010 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go Go Gadget status!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why put G20 in heaviest populated city in Canada? It's not like we don't have room anywhere else in the second largest country in the world....
←Rate | 06-27-2010 16:10 Comments (1)  


   messageicon a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 15:52 by COREY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats that Mr. Churchill; you say the germans are picking on your nation again, and you want need some help.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes in order to see the light, you must blind yourself to bullsh*t
←Rate | 06-27-2010 13:50 by Shou-Lin Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 13:32 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon Opportunity knocks but once... if Opportunity knocks twice...Opportunity walks in and steals your TV set
←Rate | 06-27-2010 13:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say "don't drink and drive" but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while on my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 13:00 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left