Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5809 of 6367

   messageicon I'm now Getting facebooks requests from my 14yr old sons friends. My girlfriend just called me a M.I.L.F. "Mom I'd like to Facebook"
←Rate | 06-30-2010 15:12 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the movies cause people wanted to see Eclipse, So I slowly covered the projector beam. Caused a riot, at least I got a better show than what that movie would have been.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 14:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon figured out how to plug the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico......put a wedding band around it and it will stop putting out
←Rate | 06-30-2010 14:04 by pizzapal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey girl I want you to lay in my bed and pretend your knees hate eachother
←Rate | 06-30-2010 13:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a whino eating grapes. I was like "Whoa, buddy. You have to wait....."
←Rate | 06-30-2010 12:50 by Jay Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a white person, I was offended on just how "white" the cast in Twilight Eclipse were.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 11:46 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon running down the street bare footed to get to ice cream truck on time!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 11:23 by Liam Dalton Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twilight's like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 11:09 by FrankieJ Comments (2)  


   messageicon If good chocolate, good friends, good hugs or a good solicitor can't fix it then it simply can't be fixed... =)
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty sure it was more then just water Jack and Jill fetched from the hill, because people just don't come tumbling down for no reason and why was Jack wearing a crown I mean come on there is more to this story people.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:35 by ginger curtis Comments (1)  


   messageicon Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:32 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not look back, the past is over, what's done is done, I thank god for what his given me and ask him to guide my ways towards a life of happiness ♥
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:44 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:43 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is the most important.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We are sinners, but we can strive to be good!!!!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:30 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. Thank god I dont have a house!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better to live one day as a lion, than a hundred as a sheep
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:18 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left