Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Anyone fancy a 68??? It's like a 69 except you go down on me and I owe you one!!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 05:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My washing machine excites me more than you will ever know !
←Rate | 07-03-2010 05:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apologies to the vegatarians, My food poops on your food,
←Rate | 07-03-2010 03:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was reported in the News recently that a former member of the KKK has volunteered to help clean and restore the Gulf. He vows to have the beaches white again in no time.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 02:41 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon without trust, there is suspicion; whenever your filled with suspicion everyone starts looking evil to you!!!!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 23:57 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Music pumping!! a*s shaking!! Dirty dancing it feels like club making
←Rate | 07-02-2010 23:55 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Couldnt get into the Maury show so I went to our local trailor park.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
←Rate | 07-02-2010 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drank too much and blew Chunks. Unfortunately, Chunks is my dog.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life sucks... Wife won't......
←Rate | 07-02-2010 22:48 by DJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have kleptomania. When it gets really bad, I take something for it.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 21:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's plenty of room for all God's creatures... right next to the mashed potatoes.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 21:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you were raised Catholic if... while watching Star Wars you hear "may the force be with you" and you respond "and also with you".
←Rate | 07-02-2010 20:41 by stellar m Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that Ghana's Asamoah Gyan couldn't score a sure thing like Bill Clinton would have!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 20:25 by Kado Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun, And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son
←Rate | 07-02-2010 20:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon convinced "The Shake Weight" was invented by a man, so as to give the rest of us guys something fun to watch on TV.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BP FINALLY stopped the oil leak. They just put a huge wedding ring on top of it and it instantly stopped putting out
←Rate | 07-02-2010 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NBA NEWS: LeBron James has decided to go with Team Jacob
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:52 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Going to Mickey D's in the morning. I am pleased to know that my food is already cooked, and will sit under heat lamps until I get there. Yum.....
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:43 Comments (0)  




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