flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The sincerest form of flattery is a steamroller
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all those that like to take pics in their bathroom mirrors, clean up the bathroom first!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you're fired"
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't keep up with such things, but is there a male Eastern European porn star named Vlad the Impaler yet?
←Rate | 07-26-2011 19:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Ouija board keeps saying "Boo! LOL J/K!" Stupid teenage ghosts.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 19:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you start working on your own manifesto, its time to go talk to the professionals in the mental health industry.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 13:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon They tried to send Amy Winehouse to the coroner but she said no, no, no. Just kidding, she's dead and didn't say anything.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 06:06 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't judge a book by its cover. I read that on a book cover. It's like a life lesson if you really think about it.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stories that have been ripped from the headlines are the best. Except the ones ripped by bears. They're really hard to read.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to become a receptionist so I can say "Your son Rip is on line toot"
←Rate | 07-21-2011 16:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I become a billionaire I'll still do stuff here. I'll just say, "In your face, peasants!" as I hit submit
←Rate | 07-21-2011 16:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talking faster and repeating louder your very weak argument does not help you. It makes you appear more like a toddler. And a whiny one at that
←Rate | 07-20-2011 18:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's best euphemism for self gratification: Buttering your corn.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 18:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to feel old? Kim Carnes of Bette Davis eyes fame turns 65 today.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 18:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot weather drinking tip: Consume a fist full of aspirin, down a bottle of vodka and go stand out in the sun for about seven hours. Its fun
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook was the most searched term on Google last month. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn't be using the internet.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 17:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: United States resumes not caring about soccer, looks forward to NFL Football in September
←Rate | 07-17-2011 22:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harry Potter's movie reinforces one stereotype. That an army of evil is still surprisingly inept at killing the main character
←Rate | 07-16-2011 20:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: making the high school reunion last forever.
←Rate | 07-16-2011 20:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if people call you the space cowboy, gangster of love or Maurice. I think you're delusional.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 18:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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