Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon After watching Lavar Ball I know know why his son steals and thinks he is entitle .
←Rate | 11-21-2017 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the Lavar Ball incidence, I now understand why Trump hates blacks.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cat has a fun new game called Catch & Release.. It catches the mice outside and brings them into the house and releases them.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 12:06 by Mic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: Use Shazam in your Uber to blow your drivers mind with your knowledge of their obscure immigrant music.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 13:09 by AkeelyMac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sales of sexbots have been skyrocketing. I wonder if they make an underage one? That's gonna be the hot seller among Hollywood and Democrats.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 15:28 by TallMtnMan Comments (4)  


   messageicon BREAKING: NINTH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS OVERTURNS TRUMP'S TURKEY PARDONS.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An untalented gymnast walks into a bar....
←Rate | 11-21-2017 16:28 by Sammy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chuck Schumer just released a new book, it's called; "How to Be a Giant Jack A$$"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 18:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Steyer just donated 25 million to the, "Let's Get REALLY Dumb Foundation"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please buy my new book: Losing weight while staying drunk.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 21:52 by UKGuy Comments (0)  


   messageicon [Watching Porn] How is there not lipstick everywhere?!
←Rate | 11-22-2017 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-22-2017 06:30 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
←Rate | 11-24-2017 22:59 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it was a rough night when your iPhone X doesn't recognize your face in the morning...
←Rate | 11-25-2017 09:02 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexican words of the day: Bishop and Lysol. Will somebody please shut that Hillary Bishop. She Lysol the time.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 19:38 Comments (5)  


   messageicon Gonorrhea would have been a good name for a diarrhea medicine... #DeepThoughts
←Rate | 11-25-2017 19:40 by UncleBubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


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