Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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5780

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Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"

←Rate | 07-12-2010 01:55 by jdpower Comments (0)

There's nothing wrong with having sex with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.

←Rate | 07-12-2010 01:52 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

that Bud Light Lime has less calories, carbs & fat than 2% Milk...it's not looking good for milk right now.

←Rate | 07-12-2010 00:22 by fefe Comments (1)

My guinea pigs are smarter than you! :P

←Rate | 07-11-2010 23:18 Comments (0)

A good friend is like a computer. He ENTERS your life, SAVES you in his heart, FORMATS your problem, and never DELETES you from his MEMORY

←Rate | 07-11-2010 22:12 by BEGO Comments (1)

wondering, Just how do I get in contact with Paul the octopus during football season?

←Rate | 07-11-2010 21:46 Comments (0)

cellphones always killin the mood. chick texted "your ducking sexy".. sigh. so I responded "your spelling makes me think your on quack"

←Rate | 07-11-2010 21:20 by john Comments (0)

It is now legal to carry concealed weapons in church in Louisiana. I'm thinking that confession just got a LOT more interesting.

←Rate | 07-11-2010 20:46 Comments (0)

‎is So,.. Just in case all Hell does freeze over, What's your Number?"

←Rate | 07-11-2010 19:59 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

congrats to spain for winning the Triwizard Cup or whatever...

←Rate | 07-11-2010 19:40 by cmadden10 Comments (0)

That's not a bald spot on top of my head! It's a solar panel for my love machine ;-)

←Rate | 07-11-2010 19:31 Comments (0)

711 stores are the real version of the Kwik-E-Mart from the Simpsons...true story, I saw Apu working just this morning.

←Rate | 07-11-2010 19:04 Comments (0)

I have a chef and a dentist here. You realize what this means right? We can finally clear up the confusion over the origin of tartar sauce!

←Rate | 07-11-2010 18:39 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)

The Netherlands known for "total footbal" more like "brutal football"!

←Rate | 07-11-2010 18:35 Comments (0)

likes how YouTube has gone from a video watching site to a music listing site.

←Rate | 07-11-2010 18:12 Comments (1)

Paul the Octopus just got hired by the CIA ...

←Rate | 07-11-2010 17:48 Comments (0)

PAUL the octopus is correct yet again!!! Spain are the crowned Champions!

←Rate | 07-11-2010 17:14 Comments (0)

The octopus PAUL has predicted it correct yet again. Spain are the Champions. I need to meet this PAUL and ask him to select which girl should I Propose to. It's time I settle for one girl, having 3 girlfriends Sucks bigtime!!

←Rate | 07-11-2010 17:13 Comments (0)

Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

←Rate | 07-11-2010 16:55 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

efore deciding whether you will stay up all night, you should sleep on it.

←Rate | 07-11-2010 15:40 by Joser Comments (0)