Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5775 of 6369
it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses
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02-12-2019 13:32 by Zinc
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I wish I had as much closet space as people in horror movies.
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02-12-2019 15:06
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Q:How many games have the Kentucky Wildcats lost in their history? A: None... but they've been cheated out of a lot
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02-13-2019 00:46
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The best sign of a happy loving relationship between two people on Valentine's Day is no sign of it all on Facebook.
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02-13-2019 03:03 by Moon
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Just helping someone find the chocolates I ate yesterday!
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02-13-2019 15:27 by Truman
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Rich guy: I should be paying higher taxes. Also rich guy: has a team of accountants find every possible deduction to reduce taxes...
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02-13-2019 16:20
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I don't think I'll have the confidence in someone closing up our border when that person can't close an umbrella properly.
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02-13-2019 17:54
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Think I'm going to ride a cow to work tomorrow .. trigger sum folks
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02-13-2019 20:15 by Booger
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Back in the day, kids drank and smoked pot behind their parents back, now they get vaccinated...
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02-13-2019 22:07
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I need a valentine, how about you?
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02-13-2019 23:28
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Happy Alentine's Ay for those of you not getting the V or the D today!
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02-14-2019 09:32
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a Douche.
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02-14-2019 09:41
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Roses are Red, They go in a Bucket, They cost 60 dollars So you'd better...
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02-14-2019 09:42
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happy vALONEtine's day to the single people
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02-14-2019 10:22 by Eddy
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People who don’t know the difference between your and you’re need to get there grammer act together.
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02-14-2019 11:43 by Dj
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Reese with her spoon is always ready for cereal.
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02-14-2019 11:45 by Dj
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Being a sports store without Nike is like being a gas station without gas.
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02-14-2019 13:35
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Amazon just broke up with New York... on Valentine's Day...
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02-14-2019 15:12 by Gabe
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She said she loves me but her PMS just showed up today
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02-14-2019 16:47
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Vegan: Pigs are one of the smartest animals, how can you eat them? Me: 2 out of 3 of them build their houses out of $hit materials...
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02-14-2019 17:38
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