Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Gas prices are so expensive...it would be cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere!
←Rate | 08-27-2018 05:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with women is they will assume everything but the position.
←Rate | 08-27-2018 06:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And in other news, Buckwheat (of Little Rascals fame) has converted to Islam. His new name is Kareem of Wheat.
←Rate | 08-27-2018 07:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I seem to have discovered a new diet plan that appears to be really working for me that's called The Cost Of Food.
←Rate | 08-27-2018 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says “I believe in you” more than when a waiter gives you a single napkin.
←Rate | 08-27-2018 12:21 by @samdunsiger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear problems..plz gimme a discount..I'm your regular customer
←Rate | 08-27-2018 12:31 by raman911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is Tom cruise starting to look like a middle aged lesbian?
←Rate | 08-27-2018 14:36 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "what's wrong ahmed, won't it start."
←Rate | 08-27-2018 17:53 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon when a friend messages you a GIF image for your birthday, is that a birthday GIFt ?
←Rate | 08-27-2018 21:37 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything after working in I.T. for twenty five years it's that Dilbert is not a comic strip. It's a documentary.
←Rate | 08-28-2018 07:11 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Shopping for antiques won't make you gay, but it will make you buy curios.
←Rate | 08-28-2018 07:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a driver, I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
←Rate | 08-28-2018 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook just suggested I poke my wife.....yeah good one Facebook.....been trying for weeks!
←Rate | 08-28-2018 09:05 by Stevielea Comments (2)  


   messageicon Does anyone else ever wonder why the game uno doesn’t have the rest of the cards in Spanish?
←Rate | 08-28-2018 18:21 by Js Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in the day google was the encylopedia.
←Rate | 08-28-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it that you have that other people use more often than you do?....... Your name :)
←Rate | 08-28-2018 20:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the fact that "Take Out" means food, dating, and murder.
←Rate | 08-29-2018 07:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This isn't my first rodeo." -Me, at my second rodeo
←Rate | 08-29-2018 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a new woman's talk show called "The Woman's Talk hour." It's on weekdays from 1pm to 3:30pm.
←Rate | 08-29-2018 13:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon no one could ever hate me half as much as I dont care
←Rate | 08-30-2018 00:44 by luka Comments (0)  




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