Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I’m white, but not ‘get married in a barn’ white.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t be silly. Those bodies were there when I bought the place.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If he hasn't pissed you off yet, give him some time, he will."
←Rate | 08-18-2018 15:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl who pushed friend off bridge Is charged after new footage emerges. This would have been prevented if the victim had a gun.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm downtown and my prescription for my glasses just ran out...now I can't find my F#$@%^ing Car..
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My stock in Memorex and Maxell is going up again. Way to go White house staff !
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:34 by BobbyT Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.....
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:37 by BobbyT Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:39 by BobbyT Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you fart and it doesn't stink, should you be concern?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 19:17 by Haha Comments (2)  


   messageicon Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I remember about the midget that attacked me. Very little.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:28 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon These Cheetos are gluten free so yeah, you could say I'm a health nut.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the Pope. Just let priests get married so they won't have to be gay with little boys!
←Rate | 08-19-2018 20:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pets are animals that aren’t delicious.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 22:12 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an “L” shaped sofa. Lower case.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 22:19 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon Truth isn't truth? Okay then, I guess food isn't good as well. Stupid senile old man.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 00:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
←Rate | 08-20-2018 00:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you could do a do over, would you?
←Rate | 08-20-2018 01:49 by IDTN Comments (0)  




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