Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5711 of 6367

   messageicon Thanks to Facebook, I no longer check breaking news, celebrity obituaries or wonder what the current weather is like.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 19:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 19:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to surround myself with happy, positive people, but sometimes they just really piss me off.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 19:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm already deleting my drunk Facebook status updates, and it's not even tomorrow.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 19:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only Picasso would have said I look lovely this morning.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 18:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to whisper in a woman's ear. Not because I'm romantic, but because I don't want other people to hear me lying.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 18:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre sees his shadow. Six more weeks of retirement speculation ahead
←Rate | 08-04-2010 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys, this is my first ever facebook status update sent from a toilet. Did I do good?
←Rate | 08-04-2010 17:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brett Favre told the Vikings he is retiring today, but also said he will sign his new contract by Friday.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 16:14 by Jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon seriously doubting that the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about
←Rate | 08-04-2010 15:48 by chucklancy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: Hero pigeon craps on A-Rod during 600th home run trot around the bases
←Rate | 08-04-2010 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish jobs had a sick & tired of being sick & tired leave...
←Rate | 08-04-2010 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a question...Why do girls take pictures together in the bathroom when they go out? I cant recall a single time my buddys and I have posed up for a photo in the john...does it smell like picture time or what??
←Rate | 08-04-2010 13:33 by SmoknGT Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to vegetarians:Plants are living things to, they are just easier to catch.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:35 Comments (7)  


   messageicon Little girl asked her father,do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?The father replied,No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎9 times more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks. I CANNOT WAIT for Coconut Week!
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:32 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief....Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:28 Comments (4)  


   messageicon and Premature Ejaculation are now friends...
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:26 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists have been investigating how snails know how to find their way home. WTF? It's on their backs.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:24 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left