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Thanks to Facebook, I no longer check breaking news, celebrity obituaries or wonder what the current weather is like.
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08-04-2010 19:20
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"The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.
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08-04-2010 19:19
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I try to surround myself with happy, positive people, but sometimes they just really piss me off.
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08-04-2010 19:18
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I'm already deleting my drunk Facebook status updates, and it's not even tomorrow.
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08-04-2010 19:18
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Only Picasso would have said I look lovely this morning.
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08-04-2010 18:45 by
lemonpillow
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I love to whisper in a woman's ear. Not because I'm romantic, but because I don't want other people to hear me lying.
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08-04-2010 18:28 by
lemonpillow
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BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre sees his shadow. Six more weeks of retirement speculation ahead
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08-04-2010 18:13
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You guys, this is my first ever facebook status update sent from a toilet. Did I do good?
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08-04-2010 17:39 by
Aaron
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Brett Favre told the Vikings he is retiring today, but also said he will sign his new contract by Friday.
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08-04-2010 16:14 by
Jeff
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seriously doubting that the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about
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08-04-2010 15:48 by
chucklancy
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Breaking News: Hero pigeon craps on A-Rod during 600th home run trot around the bases
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08-04-2010 14:07
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I wish jobs had a sick & tired of being sick & tired leave...
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08-04-2010 14:02
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Here's a question...Why do girls take pictures together in the bathroom when they go out? I cant recall a single time my buddys and I have posed up for a photo in the john...does it smell like picture time or what??
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08-04-2010 13:33 by
SmoknGT
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Note to vegetarians:Plants are living things to, they are just easier to catch.
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08-04-2010 12:35
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Little girl asked her father,do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?The father replied,No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
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08-04-2010 12:33
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9 times more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks. I CANNOT WAIT for Coconut Week!
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08-04-2010 12:32 by
jdpower
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A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief....Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed
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08-04-2010 12:28
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and Premature Ejaculation are now friends...
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08-04-2010 12:26 by
Nick
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Scientists have been investigating how snails know how to find their way home. WTF? It's on their backs.
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08-04-2010 12:26
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A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
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08-04-2010 12:24
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