Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I have a great sense of humor... --If you don't believe me, look at my Ex!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 17:19 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon Society is never going to make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 17:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I'll ever reach the age where I'm old enough to know better.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 17:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The point is not everyone is gonna be a millionaire.If you're happy, you're successful.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 16:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sometimes pee in the shower, and my girlfriend says that's only ok if I'm actually taking a shower.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I say a girl riding her bike, I thought to myself what is she doing shouldn't she be in the kitchen?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best stuff on earth and I just got better
←Rate | 08-09-2010 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 8-9-10 day, now make this day count. (little number humor. haha)
←Rate | 08-09-2010 14:57 by Fat Alec Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary and you know what you'll find? The definition of idiot, you idiot.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 14:35 by marqattacks Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my friend how his date went, insisted I sniff his fingers... worse part is , he's gay...
←Rate | 08-09-2010 14:19 by jody twilla Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently each year, more people get killed by donkeys than in aeroplane crashes.So to summarize, if you ever see a donkey on an aeroplane, you're in f*cking trouble.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 13:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever says that pizza is not good for you is sooo wrong. You can actually get every single food group into a single slice. You can't say that about much else.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 13:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity that isn't bound an gagged
←Rate | 08-09-2010 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's literally no one in the world who uses the word "literally" properly
←Rate | 08-09-2010 12:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to my proctologist and as I was bending over I heard him say "calm down Smith, calm down Smith" I looked back and told him "Doctor, my last name is Green, not Smith" and he said "I know, Smith is me"
←Rate | 08-09-2010 11:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it considered cheating if you have to kiss your boss' ass?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 10:49 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:57 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders who wants to a fairy princess when it's so much more fun to be the wicked queen
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gathering Kardashians to throw at you.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:07 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I miss you so much,I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 04:21 by Razya Comments (0)  




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