Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5637 of 6367
For some of you that habitually change your relationship statuses, Facebook should offer an "is being played by _________" option.
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09-01-2010 09:38 by JRF
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That's a nice suit. When did the clown die?
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09-01-2010 09:09 by Aaron
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Studies have finally discovered what is wrong with the male brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the rightside, there is nothing left!
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09-01-2010 07:30
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If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
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09-01-2010 05:35
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The economy is so bad that I ordered a Big Mac at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
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09-01-2010 00:49 by geez
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if texting and driving is dangerous....look at me I'm updating my face book!
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08-31-2010 23:30 by adam
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Never tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
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08-31-2010 23:27
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why is there a diet version of everything good except chocolate? hmm...where does Hershey's keep their "suggestion box"?
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08-31-2010 22:53 by Eddy
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Ok ladies, a night with me will give you examples for your future daughters of what kind of guy to watch out for, but in the meantime, it will give you one hell of a story to tell your girlfriends!
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08-31-2010 22:08
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The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail...
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08-31-2010 21:49 by geez
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The economy is so bad, If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.
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08-31-2010 21:28 by geez
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flicking Captain Crunch at an evil garden gnome
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08-31-2010 21:26
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The first rule of Hangover Club is: SHHHH
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08-31-2010 20:10 by MBH
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EPIC FAIL: Ripping the easy-open tab right off the last can of chef boyardee ravioli and not having a can opener to back it up."
My invisible make believe deity can beat up your invisible make believe deity
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08-31-2010 19:29 by MBH
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Thinking God's has a great personality, Both my wife and girlfriend are on the rag at the same time.
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08-31-2010 19:09 by TLC
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my girlfriend is driving me round the bend and daughter is sending me up the wall so if anyone needs me look for me on the neighbours roof ;)
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08-31-2010 19:07
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My invisible make believe deity can beat up your invisible make believe deity
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08-31-2010 18:35 by Tracy
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make sure your wearing Deodorant when you reaching for the stars.
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08-31-2010 18:31 by L
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Don't reach for the stars. You'll just look like a idiot stretching for no reason.