Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5376 of 6369
Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
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11-29-2010 09:49 by John
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
Two Beer or not Two beer. William ShakesBEER
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11-29-2010 09:39
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It's not easy being humble when you're flawless.
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
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11-29-2010 09:02
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Life is less like a box of chocolate and more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
I don't know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
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11-29-2010 08:49
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
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11-29-2010 08:41 by dunno
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MONDAY: Mentally Overworked, Nauseated, Dysfunctional And Yucky
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11-29-2010 08:28 by Legarzia
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alright ladies...time to put down the booze n get busy on theses dishes...
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11-29-2010 08:10
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"Nice Beaver." Simple, yet effective. RIP Leslie Nielsen. Your classic comedy movies will continue to make us laugh.
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11-29-2010 07:45
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heard that frank Drebin died today. It couldnt have been Nordberg that killed him because OJ doesnt kill people
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11-29-2010 06:08
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The camera adds 10 pounds. Reality adds 20.
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11-29-2010 05:55
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Leslie Neilsen died?! Surely you can't be serious?!
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11-29-2010 03:33 by Dubbie
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Surely he's not dead! He is. And stop calling me Shirley. R.I.P. Leslie Neilsen.
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11-29-2010 03:31 by Scarlet
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If you worry about all the bridges you burn in life, you will never get across the river.
wish I can do , what CAL LIGHTMAN can ;-)
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11-29-2010 01:21
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seriously thinking she was swapped at birth!
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11-29-2010 00:46 by Jade
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I hope when I die and I'm standing at the pearly gates "trying to get in" that they dont have a list of all the things I have Googled and start reading them aloud !
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11-28-2010 22:38
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RIP Leslie Nielsen. I promise not to call you Shirley.
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11-28-2010 22:12
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