Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5147 of 6367

   messageicon Humor has been cancelled for the day. We look forward to serving you in the near future.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 11:41 by Bill C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever walk toward automatic sliding opening doors, hold your hand up, and as they open think, maybe, just maybe, the force is with you today??
←Rate | 02-18-2011 11:13 by Paul Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just took the 'road less traveled'...found Waldo...
←Rate | 02-18-2011 10:59 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think 'supervision' isn't nearly as cool as it sounds...
←Rate | 02-18-2011 10:42 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never take failure to your heart and success to your mind.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 10:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 08:44 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 08:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not shy. I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 08:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish that automatic doors would appreciate my existance...
←Rate | 02-18-2011 07:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Church sign reads, "Look at what's missing from ch__ch
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish McDonalds sold a hot dog so I could walk in and order a McWeiner and then ask for it to be supersized
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:07 by dunno Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with... "Are you sitting down?"
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it still technically a "walk of shame" if I rollerbladed?
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're only 4 years away from when Back to the Future 2 happens.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things you can say when you have nothing to say: 1. It is what it is 2. It's just not meant to be 3. Everything happens for a reason 4. Word
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really don't feel like "occasionally" stirring this
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was just thinking .... What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon We're responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did things taste like before there were chickens?
←Rate | 02-18-2011 00:02 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left