Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5147 of 6367
Humor has been cancelled for the day. We look forward to serving you in the near future.
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02-18-2011 11:41 by Bill C.
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Do you ever walk toward automatic sliding opening doors, hold your hand up, and as they open think, maybe, just maybe, the force is with you today??
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02-18-2011 11:13 by Paul
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Just took the 'road less traveled'...found Waldo...
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02-18-2011 10:59 by M.A.C.
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I think 'supervision' isn't nearly as cool as it sounds...
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02-18-2011 10:42 by M.A.C.
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Never take failure to your heart and success to your mind.
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02-18-2011 10:14
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anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
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02-18-2011 08:44 by mullerman
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When I'm sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.
I'm not shy. I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
Sometimes I wish that automatic doors would appreciate my existance...
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02-18-2011 07:03
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Church sign reads, "Look at what's missing from ch__ch
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02-18-2011 00:58
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I wish McDonalds sold a hot dog so I could walk in and order a McWeiner and then ask for it to be supersized
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02-18-2011 00:07 by dunno
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You know it's going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with... "Are you sitting down?"
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02-18-2011 00:04
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it still technically a "walk of shame" if I rollerbladed?
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02-18-2011 00:04
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We're only 4 years away from when Back to the Future 2 happens.
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02-18-2011 00:03
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At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture
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02-18-2011 00:03
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Things you can say when you have nothing to say: 1. It is what it is 2. It's just not meant to be 3. Everything happens for a reason 4. Word
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02-18-2011 00:03
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I really don't feel like "occasionally" stirring this
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02-18-2011 00:02
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Was just thinking .... What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
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02-18-2011 00:02
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We're responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
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02-18-2011 00:02
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What did things taste like before there were chickens?
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02-18-2011 00:02
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