Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon It took a movie like Blindside and Jesse James' cheating ways for Sandra Bullock to decide to adopt a black baby.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:57 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Twilight Saga is a lot like the World Cup! They run around for a few hours, no one scores and the fans say you have to watch it to understand.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 00:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Absolutely, sir. And what kind of pig would you like to hear?" (Real American, if he was in Deliverance)
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:19 by Tom Comments (7)  


   messageicon Hey People lets not forget about William and Kate!
←Rate | 05-01-2011 23:49 by Aaron12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO alcohol...NO fun. KNOW alcohol...KNOW fun!
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:20 by Ryan D Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you make White House Soup? You start with a laughing stock and and a whole bunch of nuts.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thank you Tom Brady for showing the world that you have way more GOD given talent than Tebow!
←Rate | 01-15-2012 10:16 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so excited when I learned that Rosie O'Donnell had a Heart Attack...then I found out she was still alive.
←Rate | 08-21-2012 07:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woohoo! Marco Rubio For President Of The United States of America!!!
←Rate | 04-13-2015 20:02 by JT Comments (0)  


   messageicon The equation for Lady Gaga's Bad Romance :(RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO(MA +(MA)^2) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2
←Rate | 09-17-2010 02:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon # For someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, he sure does do alot of talking.
←Rate | 05-01-2020 04:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you tell a woman who has two black eyes... nothing you've already told her twice!
←Rate | 01-15-2010 18:36 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon A 27-year-old was arrested after posting on Facebook he was engaged to a 14-year-old. His relationship status: “It's Illegal.”
←Rate | 09-13-2010 21:08 by @jimmyfallon Comments (0)  


   messageicon my Facebook password is your girlfriends name
←Rate | 09-19-2010 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon : How do you keep a facebook friend busy? Refresh this screen to find the answer.
←Rate | 10-12-2009 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon am no gynaecologist but am gonna look anyway!!!!!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men have Adam's apple, and women have Eve's cherry
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exit through an ENTER door!! What are we all on DRUGS??
←Rate | 08-03-2010 00:38 by Brian Hartman Comments (0)  


   messageicon my sub teacher in 11th grade was born without arms, he asked a girl "need a hand" & she laughed ..he should of slapped her!
←Rate | 11-05-2010 15:28 by Herbncheese/oscar Comments (0)  


   messageicon still embarrased about what I did for a klondike bar....that was 2 years ago leave it alone people..........
←Rate | 01-17-2011 01:41 Comments (0)  




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