snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's VERY magnanimous of Donald Trump to only take $1 in Presidential salary,, $1 seems Very small,, until you realize that's it's still more than he paid in taxes
←Rate | 11-15-2016 17:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon American Apparel is filing for bankruptcy again... The good news is that they're only a couple more bankruptcies away from running for President.
←Rate | 11-15-2016 16:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now my neighbors know how often I pee in my backyard... Thanks, super moon. Thanks.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 20:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things get back to normal tomorrow when Supermoon returns to work as mild mannered reporter Clark Moon.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 20:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will be a 'Supermoon' tonight... That means it will be wearing its underpants on the outside.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 20:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the moon hits your eye Like a bigger pizza pie,,,, That's a....Supermoon.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 20:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Supermoon was OK... But according to Rotten Tomatoes, still way better than Supermoon v Batmoon.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 20:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 07:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Please stop being mean" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle
←Rate | 11-14-2016 01:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [grocery produce aisle]... ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?.. CLERK: No, why do you ask?... CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 12:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Game show hosts going on strike... They know their jobs are in Jeopardy,.. but they won't settle until they can get a contract where The Price Is Right.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 11:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm sayin is how do you expect your gluteus to be maximus,,, if you don't eat your bacon?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 09:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite dinosaurs were the carbivores... You never hear about them because they went extinct before the others,,, You know cuz,, like all the gluten and such...
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In these trying times, I want to find good in this world so here goes,,,,, I am extremely grateful that Cap'n Crunch leaves far more gently than it enters.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just introduced a guy wearing a hoodie with shorts, to a guy wearing a vest... They're fighting... Umm Wait,, That's actually making out, they're making out.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot Kraft singles in your area are difficult to open, and really not good cheese anyway,,,, So....
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: But God, where did the second set of footprints go?.. God: That's when you were dating that psycho. I wasn't sticking around for that.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,,,Only quitters will say you don't eat the corn dog stick.
←Rate | 11-10-2016 20:50 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just changed my voicemail greeting to “Seriously?”
←Rate | 11-05-2016 17:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: the 2016 election didn't make anyone any uglier than they were already, it just made their pre-existing ugliness easier to see
←Rate | 11-05-2016 17:14 by snotty Comments (0)  



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