minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 22:07 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m drinking something. I'll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
←Rate | 02-10-2013 18:40 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gong Xi Fa Ca! Happy Chinese New Year! And hopefully, when you wake up after two too many mai tais, you don’t discover a Tattoo of "Yu Bang Mi Nao" on your a$$.....do not ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:37 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I’ve had my servings of fruit today. Coconut rum, pineapple-orange juice and maraschino cherries. There’s a bonus for combo fruits, right?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 23:06 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon F.Y.I.: FaceBook will be closed February 29, 30 and 31st. Please make a note of it.
←Rate | 02-07-2013 13:31 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really wasn't planning on drinking all that beer this evening. The pretzels made me do it.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 22:17 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
←Rate | 02-06-2013 20:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it blacking out. I call it a booze nap.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 17:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't got a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers - but I think 2 are cops.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 14:25 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep it down kids....Aunt Minnie is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 14:15 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 23:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 21:47 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 10:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw an ad that read: "Fluffer wanted for movie set". They must have a lot of pillows, huh? Well, I sent my resume in, wish me luck!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 16:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.
←Rate | 02-02-2013 19:55 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon People really misunderstand me.....I mean, I’m a simple girl, really. I enjoy long romantic walks (to the liquor store)...quiet conversations (with my bail bondsman)....that secure feeling (that only an ankle monitoring bracelet can bring)...
←Rate | 02-01-2013 12:56 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs....
←Rate | 01-29-2013 16:02 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
←Rate | 01-27-2013 19:14 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Subway lawsuit defense ... maybe the sub was cold.
←Rate | 01-26-2013 15:05 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: Mr. Tequila and Mr. Keyboard do not play well together
←Rate | 01-22-2013 23:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  




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