jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Remember when Joan Rivers didnt look a day over $225,000
←Rate | 09-04-2014 18:18 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
←Rate | 07-23-2014 00:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them?....."IN loving memories of all the faces that have been buried here..."
←Rate | 07-11-2014 21:53 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them?....."IN loving memorie of all those who died here?"
←Rate | 07-11-2014 21:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these folks that use to be a Heat Fan...are now a wherever He-At fan.....
←Rate | 07-11-2014 17:13 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only you can see the Face I'm makiong ....When you add another plate in the sink while I'm washing the freakin dishes!!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2014 00:22 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kermit the frog puppets sales are up......but that's none of my business tho!
←Rate | 06-26-2014 01:39 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You make me a better person" - Me talking to my beer!
←Rate | 06-24-2014 21:31 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pringles - The only chip company in the world, that doesn't sell air!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 23:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sooooo workin for TSA wasn't a good enough job so you decided to sell... Coke and make Crack at your house while the kids were there....smh
←Rate | 06-23-2014 23:38 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chicken Omelette - a vendetta against the chicken race! Usually when a contract chicken killer who has it in for the chicken, to not only take out a hen's eggs, but to stuff it with chicken! 2 generations of chicken dead!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 18:49 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call..."America's most wanted" or Pedofiliers/Stalkers
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:50 by Jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon Me: "Do you want to go out” Her: "Like on a date?" Me: "No...out on a bridge so I can push you off!"
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:29 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Mom I’m bleeding”“Oh sweetie there’s" "no need to be worried it's just a sign ur becomin a woman" "Thnk God, I was really starting to get worried about this axe inmy shoulder!"
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:26 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon So when those annoying Student/Bill Debt collectors call and ask me to verify my information and this call maybe recorded for training purposes....I usually tell em my number recently changed, n give them some other debt collector's number! problem solved
←Rate | 06-23-2014 15:44 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when spurs get a 20 point lead and I got diarrhea.....
←Rate | 06-15-2014 23:03 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "All I asked was for a sandwich and a BJ"....... - My Tombstone
←Rate | 03-17-2014 18:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple/Google store just came out with a new app called "Find My I-plane"
←Rate | 03-13-2014 15:35 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to see 300 Rise of An Empire last night. After that Athenians sex scene, I realized alot of Empire was rising in the theater. The Men sat down and watched the credits all the way to the very end!
←Rate | 03-11-2014 18:14 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey...do we look like we into cheap and safe like candles and flashlights???....Obviously when it comes to lighting crayons on fire, we into much more than just cheap and safe!
←Rate | 02-13-2014 20:58 by Jitney Comments (0)  




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