hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Santa is really going to love the cookies he gets from Colorado and Washington this year..
←Rate | 12-08-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon So How long do I microwave these teenage turtles before I can teach them karate ?
←Rate | 12-07-2012 05:01 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone told me: Don't fall in love, you might get hurt. I said: Don't live, you might die..
←Rate | 12-07-2012 04:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished at Walmart and McDonald's. On my way to visit a family member in prison to complete the trifecta.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 04:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don't know anything about cars, but I do know how po rn starts off
←Rate | 12-07-2012 04:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person that falls asleep at my parties doesn't get written on or their hand in warm water. They get the phone numbers of their girlfriend and ex-girlfriend switched in their cell phone.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew she was "Trouble" from the moment the announcer at the strip club introduced her as so.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone help me with this? I wanted some homemade honey, but I don't know how many bees to put in this blender...so far it tastes horrible.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's almost that time of year where I don't have to feel weird about eating cookies shaped like people.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:45 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I've never done cocaine, but I have a question. Why do people do it in the bathroom? If you were doing a drug that you had to sniff really hard to do, isn't someplace where people poop not the ideal place?
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was wondering about my genealogy so I traced my family tree. Leaf it to me to trace my roots only to find out I'm the sap.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon People with "KEEP OUT" signs in their yard grossly overestimate our desire to come visit them.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's December! I guess it's time to pretend I'm putting up the Christmas lights... that I never took down from last year
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cute thing I tell my kids is that if you fart while sitting on Mall Santa's lap, Real Santa will bring you extra presents.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You find out who your real friends are when all you have left to offer is friendship.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 16:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming 'Help me, Superman. Help me!' and then I run away, unexplained.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 04:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom's bedroom. I can't believe it.. She's a superhero!
←Rate | 11-30-2012 04:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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