eengrms Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Love your neighbor, but don't get caught...
←Rate | 11-22-2014 16:32 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
←Rate | 11-22-2014 16:31 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
←Rate | 11-19-2014 19:47 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I'm thinking savings isn't the only thing you will catch at Walmart...
←Rate | 11-14-2014 14:17 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon This time can Ben Affleck stay behind instead so we can find a suitable Batman?
←Rate | 11-14-2014 00:00 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse...
←Rate | 11-04-2014 09:56 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?
←Rate | 11-02-2014 10:37 by eengrms Comments (1)  


   messageicon At least now I know the real reason why I've never been asked to play on a professional volleyball team...
←Rate | 07-28-2014 14:24 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's tough. It's tougher if you're stupid...
←Rate | 07-28-2014 13:54 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read that Kate Upton is an heir to a billion dollar fortune... Finally a reason to date her...
←Rate | 05-19-2014 13:19 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Given the age of the average facebook user is steadily increasing, it's no wonder their new look would include large print and big pictures...
←Rate | 03-06-2014 17:54 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
←Rate | 02-17-2014 20:47 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you take all the veins out of a person and lay them end to end that person will die...
←Rate | 02-17-2014 18:24 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should be able to pick a theme for your Facebook movie... Because some of you should need to pick drama...
←Rate | 02-04-2014 23:00 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon That guy has a couple screws loose... which is ironic because he's also a tool...
←Rate | 01-27-2014 19:52 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the universe didn't want me to eat four pop-tarts for breakfast I wouldn't have four slots on my toaster...
←Rate | 01-25-2014 12:29 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bieber's arrest doesn't give him street cred, it actually just raises the street cred bar a little higher...
←Rate | 01-23-2014 14:06 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think instead of doing laundry I'm just going to buy a second hamper...
←Rate | 01-17-2014 16:16 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Paul Walker was cremated... I hate to point out the obvious...
←Rate | 12-12-2013 16:17 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The American Music Awards are so predictable... I didn't win a single award again this year...
←Rate | 11-24-2013 22:42 by eengrms Comments (0)  




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