Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy
←Rate | 11-19-2011 22:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Muslims, if you want 72 virgins just go to your local cinema today for a Twilight showing and you'll have plenty to choose from.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 21:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part about my neighbor demanding I not serve booze to her kids is finding out they're not cool dwarfs who like to party.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't say that I'm really a bad dancer more like....overly Caucasian.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:02 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're wondering at what point I stopped caring, it was pretty much when you said, "Hi, my name is _________."
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG!!! I am so f'd up...I drank so much last night..i woke up in my own vomit! Party!....woohoo!..I just chugged more vodka to cure the hangover!.....(this didn't happen, just wanted to fit in in Facebook).
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:18 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever see someone in a hurry and they do that last little mad dash to their final destination? How much time does that save.....2.3 seconds?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 20:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet tip: If you fatten up everyone around you, you will look thinner.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Skort: skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your butt!!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:13 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
←Rate | 04-28-2011 20:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man is it cold outside...just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the padded bra...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a lady at Walmart wearing those "shape up" shoes. Thought to myself, "Honey....there ain't no shaping that thing up."
←Rate | 03-23-2011 22:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took my Beanie Baby collection to a Pawn Shop today. Really thought they'd be worth a lot more. Back in the safe they go.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 22:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy return a wedding set at Walmart today and get his $36 back. I'm guessing her answer was, "No."
←Rate | 02-15-2011 21:26 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really struggling on what to get my girlfriend for Valentines Day. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarassing.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 18:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I want the Bears to win today is so that I can watch them lose in the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 15:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
←Rate | 01-21-2011 17:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  




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