Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm not going to apologize for it, cause the truth is I'd do it again.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 18:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a jet, flying to Europe. "Would you like dinner?", the flight attendant asked. I go, "What are my choices?". She said, "Yes or no."
←Rate | 09-26-2011 15:32 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 10:39 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with all those sub categories in facebook's relationship status option? For example...what's a Domestic Partnership? She vacuums while he dusts?
←Rate | 09-26-2011 08:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't smoke pot. But hang with people who do. They have great snack ideas, and if you're broke, it is a good group to hang out with for a free meal. If all they're stoned, just start talking about pizza, or fried chicken. Snack time!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 06:43 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What are those small bumps around a woman's nipples? They are Braille for "s*ck here."
←Rate | 09-24-2011 10:13 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 09:51 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon Jamie Lee Curtis, please take your Activia, and blow it out your a$$.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:15 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon 21 years old? 5 kids? That's not a vajayjay, that's a Pez dispenser.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 05:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing that irks me more than guys fawning all over a hot, yet insecure dysfunctional actress type on facebook, as if they're gonna "get some". It's like watching people kissing the a$$ of a train wreck.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 07:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 21:32 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon cont'd: I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's pus, don't make us jump to Google Plus!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:43 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. Why? COS IT JUST DOES OKAY......!!!!!!!!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 10:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy says to his teenage daughter “There are two words I'd like you to drop from your vocabulary. One is ‘awesome' and the other is ‘gross'.” “Okay,” she says, “what are they?”
←Rate | 09-22-2011 06:59 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pringles. A real chip wasn't good enough. So they smash a potato, add chemicals, add liquid, turn it into a paste, then put it in a mold where it is artificially made to resemble a real chip, but with no flavor. Then put 'em in a tennis ball can
←Rate | 09-21-2011 07:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Yorkers get such a bad rap for being rude. I was visiting relatives in Manhattan, and some guy walked up to me and asked, "Excuse me,can you tell me how to get to the Empire State Building, or should I just go f**k myself?"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 20:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal relationship. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam's mother cooked.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 16:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
←Rate | 09-19-2011 08:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to get someone to agree with your political or religious viewpoint, is as futile as trying to convince a mother that her baby isn't the cutest thing ever.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 06:21 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a Paleontological fact that T-Rexes were so vicious because their arms were too short for them to masturbate.
←Rate | 09-18-2011 07:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  




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