Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Marshall the Great': View All Messages
Page: 5 of 182

   messageicon It took a lot of persuasion and reasoning on my part at this 'all-you-can-eat' buffet, but anyway... long story short... I'm about to go down on the waitress.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 20:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates, why is this box of chocolates yelling at me?
←Rate | 06-26-2013 20:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Excuse me ma'am?... I'd like to return this Birthday Suit." ... "Sir, you're naked." ... "Where's your manager!?"
←Rate | 06-26-2013 20:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying I'm lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my truck so I just wrote back "nah"
←Rate | 06-26-2013 20:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I ordered an industrial electric motor online and modified my ceiling fan, so now I have off, high, tornado, and hurricane. And oddly, a self cleaning house now.....
←Rate | 06-26-2013 20:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just heard the tragic news about Taylor Swift. My heart is broken for her and her family. Sending them all my thoughts and prayers. She hasn't died, she's just making more music.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women's facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren't looking at her face.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m just glad it’s almost Friday! It’s almost Friday, right? Well, it’s close to Friday. It’s never going to be Friday is it?
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever a stranger asks our baby's name, I always say he hasn't told us yet.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any bathroom without toilet paper is a panic room.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m so tired. Almost time to crawl into bed and not be able to sleep for three hours.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are the 2 extremes on the spectrum of smell. They either smell like heaven filled with lollipops or a microwaved porta-potty.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when babies wear really baggy diapers and try to act all street.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should check on Tyler Perry. He hasn't released a movie in like a week.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon one male, one female, one ex trying to mess it up and one friend secretly hoping it ends.
←Rate | 06-20-2013 20:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 13:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember to wish your dad a happy Father's Day, as well as thanking him for not wiping you up in a tissue.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 13:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a book entitled "How to Have a Good Personality." It's a gift for my ex.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 19:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left