Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Do not put a party hat on a cat. They are seldom in a party mood.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because someone smiles a lot doesn't mean they're nice or they like you. Take alligators for example.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 13:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone tells you their horoscope says they're going to have a good day, it's your duty as a human being to punch them in the throat and prove them wrong.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 01:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In some countries, DEATH is nature’s way of limiting presidential terms in office. You wanted to be a president for life, and now your wish is granted Mr Chavez.
←Rate | 03-06-2013 03:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 06:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone please tell Facebook that all relationships are complicated.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 07:24 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being late for work because of morning sex. Now, it's because I dress my cat as Gandolph.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, tell her she looks more beautiful without any make up. She won't believe you but your odds of getting laid will improve enormously.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are in a long distance relationship with common sense.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 07:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In life its only a thief who genuinely wishes you to prosper and succeed.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 04:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I would like to be summoned by a king, or a wizard, instead of the courts.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loneliness can make you do some strange people.
←Rate | 02-25-2013 23:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget the wild animals, aliens, ghosts, snakes or spiders; the greatest danger to a human being is another human being.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 14:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m totally gonna ask this lady breast feeding her baby, for a little squirt for my coffee.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 12:31 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pizza is a pie chart that shows you exactly how pizza you have eaten and how much is left.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I makes me sad to think that drug dealers know better math than I do.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 12:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


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