Dylan Bosch Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon PMS: stands for either "Pass My Shotgun" or "Potential Murder Suspect". Take your pick.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:50 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks I've found the cure for stupidity... a shock collar. And if it doesn't cure them, at least you got a good laugh watching them twitch."
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice guys finish last... because they make sure their women come first ;)
←Rate | 03-05-2011 00:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women don't want to hear what you think...Women want to hear what they think- in a deeper voice."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:52 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon When moving walkways in airports warn me to watch my step because, "The walkway is coming to a end", my first thought is "I'm moving 2 mph, that is ridiculous." Then when I get to the end all I can think is "Oh crap, I better not mess this up."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:36 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon This time of year every store is advertising as "your one stop shop!" Really? I'm in college, I'm pretty sure that's the liquor store.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I smile in the middle of telling a story, not because I'm fondly remembering something, but because I'm impressed with the BS I am creating on the spot."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:27 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?"
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon My road rage doubles in winter. Not only does everyone drive like they're 100 years old, but I get even more enraged when I flip someone off and realize I'm wearing mittens. Now I'm pissed and embarassed."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy!"
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon The true test of inner strength is finding both stalls occupied."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are terrified of women. Don't believe me? Go use one of those decorative towels in the bathroom. I dare ya."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:21 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a recurring, hour-long meeting set on my work calendar for 4pm on Fridays. There's no actual meeting, but I'll be damned if I let someone schedule a real one at that time."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:20 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you die in a manner that leaves your body unrecognizable they identify you by your dental records; if they don't know who you are, how in the world would they know who your dentist is?"
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:18 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon watched that new gay television soap series called, 'Leave it, it's Beaver!'
←Rate | 03-03-2011 21:03 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone quoted me incorrectly on Twitter again. I *HATE* it when I get mistweeted.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:48 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard that the world is going to end in 2012, because that's only as far as the Mayan calendar goes. But the news gets even worse: I checked MY calendar, and it only goes to the end of this year!"
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:41 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is each "next big thing" getting less and less big and nexty, and a lot more thingy?
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:39 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pandora tells me what music I like, Netflix tells me what movies I like.. Refrigerator: Why are you such a slacker?!"
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:38 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  



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