Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always do things for the wrong reason. Like, watch the World Series for the organ music interludes.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 20:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I was country, when country wasn't cool"....newflash...it still isn't.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 08:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a job at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I start tomorrow. In the Beyond department.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice the word "bed" looks like one?
←Rate | 10-25-2012 10:01 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The Goddess that is Judge Judy"....said no one ever.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 16:17 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. And after all this time no less. I wasn't ignoring you, you simply don't matter that much anymore. Please forgive me, yet my feelings will remain unchanged, Myspace phone app.
←Rate | 10-30-2012 17:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color and we have no idea what mauve is.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 16:39 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was born, the day I was brought home form the hospital my parents put up a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time 18 Years"
←Rate | 11-06-2012 07:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tagged Photos-Rule #1: The hottest girl in the pic is the one not tagged.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 10:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess all the leftover Thanksgiving dinner stuff is gone that was in the fridge. I'm telling everyone I quit cold turkey.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 07:17 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was really counting on winning the Powerball. I was also counting on getting run over by a bus driven by a bear.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 07:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the movies to see "Lincoln". The only thing they had at the snack bar were waffles and Log Cabin Syrup.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 19:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Choosing someone based on their looks, is like picking a Christmas gift based on the wrapping paper.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 08:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon 20 minutes later, and I can't remember who I "sanded my wood" to. I have to find better imaginary girlfriends.
←Rate | 12-06-2012 07:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was notified that I've been chosen to be the new "Adam" on Mars. They've selected an Eve. I hope to G0d she remembers to bring the snake and the apple.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 21:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon In these economic hard times, I always do what it takes to get my money's worth. Like yesterday. I went to the Dental Hygienist and ate a box of Oreos in the waiting room before going in.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 10:10 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't had a cigarette in 11 months. Did it on my own. My mom is trying to quit but couldn't do it by herself so she went to a hypnotist. She still smokes, but thinks she's a chicken.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 19:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people suffered in their youth which helped them succeed later in life. For example, if Bill Gates had gotten l@id in high school, there would have been no Microsoft.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 20:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 12-25-2012 19:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get me an alligator sandwich, and make it snappy!
←Rate | 12-29-2012 15:28 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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