Luka Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:34 by luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:35 by luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:37 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon My therapist told me to write letter to the people I hate and then burn them. OK. I did that, now what do I do with all these letters?
←Rate | 10-24-2018 18:35 by Luka Comments (1)  


   messageicon they say you should never tell a joke about blind people, oh yeah? watch me
←Rate | 01-03-2019 21:33 by luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just accused me of cheating in poker, I think he is just mad I won with 6 king
←Rate | 09-25-2019 22:16 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been called annoying, not once, not twice, not three times not four times not five times not six times not seven times not eight times not nine times not ten times not eleven times not twelve times not thirteen times not even 14 times._.
←Rate | 01-01-2020 02:11 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend told me she wanted me to choke her during sex, I asked her; whats wrong with during dinner?
←Rate | 03-06-2021 09:28 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
←Rate | 03-14-2021 13:12 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon "i refuse to get a microchip implanted in me by means of a vaccine needle" okay? And? thats like saying "i refuse to swallow motor oil by means of drinking milk"
←Rate | 08-03-2021 02:46 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when my wife corrects me,so I said to her "Sarah I want a divorce" she responds with "my name is Debbie"
←Rate | 12-02-2021 00:40 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon So many people leave their bodies to science, I wanna leave my body to accounting
←Rate | 02-15-2022 18:58 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a friebd that is both gay and lactose intolerant, I call him the non dairy queen
←Rate | 03-29-2022 21:21 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was told that I am the cheapest man in the world, well I'm not buying it
←Rate | 06-11-2022 23:30 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not that I hate kids, i'm just following the instructions of every medicine bottle in my bathroom cabinet "Keep away from children"
←Rate | 06-13-2022 00:35 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon it technicallly underwear if its all you are wearing?
←Rate | 06-13-2022 21:04 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those wondering if walls work, they do, I went to china, didnt see one Mexican
←Rate | 06-20-2022 02:34 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon My last relationship ended cause he wanted a long distance relationship, well he told me to go to hell
←Rate | 07-06-2022 00:21 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend thinks I am incapable of being Faithful... My wife on the other hand, has a sister I wouldn't mind, if ya know what I mean
←Rate | 08-06-2022 11:06 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personally I am happily married, unfortunately my wife is not
←Rate | 08-11-2022 02:25 by Luka Comments (0)  




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