father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   To all the women I've dated. If we have a secret love child together that you never told me about, just have them get me a giftcard for Father's Day. Thanks!

   Father's Day always worries me. I'm afraid I'll get a gift I can't afford.

   Nowadays, Father's Day is a good day to thank Dad for not running away from home.

   Speaking of Fathers Day... The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."

   For all of you Dads out there who went out for milk, and actually came back home -- HAPPY FATHER'S DAY......

   My father taught me a lot of things, however, the most important thing he taught me was how to be a great dad. A close second is how to have a conversation with someone for a half an hour even though you can't remember their name or anything else

   Father's Day Then And Now: In 1911, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

   would like to thank maury povich for letting so many know if they are the father and can celebrate this day

   Nothing says Happy Father's Day like waking up next to a stripper and wondering if she actually has a father to celebrate the day.

   I was chillin' with my buddy and his wife walked in and said, "Happy Father's Day! You're so much more than the guy who used to buy dollar store condoms."

   Happy Father's Day Dad! Whoever you are...

   If you're lucky enough to still have a dad the best Father's Day gift would be to call the guy and ask his advice about something. Anything.

   Happy father day to the men in our lives that have made a diffrence when we didnt have one to be there.., our uncles, brothers, grandfathers teachers bosses,step dads...you didnt have to be there, but we were all grateful you were.

   Let's not forget a Happy Father's day to all the Sugar Daddies out there.

   Happy Father's Day, all! Be nice to your dad today. Remember it's because of him not pulling out in time that you're alive today!

   Father's Day is the most confusing day in the Ghetto !!!

   Really!!! Kim Kardashian is upset with the Casey Anthony verdict!!! Your father defended OJ Simpson, Thus starting the Kardashian tradition of getting black men off!!!

   I'm looking forward to the day when Jesus points to me, and turns to our Father and says, "This one is mine!"

   I'm not your Father but I can be your friend ( Heavy breathing ) - Step-dad Darth Vader

   Never date a girl whose father calls her "Princess." Chances are.. she believes it