minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I’m drinking something. I'll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
←Rate | 02-10-2013 18:40 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 22:07 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came across a show called "It's Me or the Dog"......I gotta say that I was immensely disappointed when I found that it wasn't a game show where people had to guess who farted...
←Rate | 02-10-2013 22:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, the Pope is resigning, eh? Perhaps I shouldn't have poked him so many times....but, in fairness - HE started that poke war to begin with.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 12:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick! When the hunky bartender gets the security guard and points at you; that means he's interested right? I think I’m going to drink for free the rest of the night...
←Rate | 02-11-2013 22:53 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Mardi Gras! Laissez les bon temps Roule! And hopefully, when you wake up you don’t discover a Tattoo of "Beignets Rule" on your a$$.....do not ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 12:46 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Google... sqrt(cos(x))*cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5
←Rate | 02-13-2013 12:05 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's slutty lingerie and saturated fats involved.
←Rate | 02-13-2013 18:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you have to stick your finger in a few before you find the one that's right for you.... and try to stay away from the ones that already have teethmarks in them....
←Rate | 02-13-2013 22:07 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 22:57 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definitions: It is an "Asteroid" when traveling through space. It becomes a "Meteor" once it enters Earth's atmosphere. It is a "Meteorite" once it hits the ground. And it is "holymotherofgodwhatthehelljusthappened?!?" if it hits anywhere near you.
←Rate | 02-15-2013 21:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, so maybe practicing hypnotism in front of the mirror wasn't the smartest idea..
←Rate | 02-17-2013 17:45 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon In deference to any Chinese hackers who may looking at my posts: for the remainder of the evening, I will be using ROR (Raff out Roud) instead of LOL for your convenience. You’re welcome.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 21:44 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m depressed and a bit humbled. I just found out Gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a Japanese horror movie monster.
←Rate | 02-23-2013 18:08 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apocalypse Update - Day 67: I should have bought more Febreeze for the bunker, dammit.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 22:31 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs beer goggles - I've got vodka binoculars.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 12:06 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon March isn't the only thing that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:13 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Vatican removed Bishop Sicola from New York from the final candidate list for the papacy...... Apparently they thought it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as ''Pope-si-cola.''
←Rate | 03-02-2013 13:03 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did I already do my deja vu joke?
←Rate | 03-04-2013 19:34 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the first guy who broke my heart. Well look at me now, Jason! I talk about mundane stuff and drinking escapades to perfect strangers on the Internet. I got a lot going on, dude. You had your chance!
←Rate | 03-05-2013 11:37 by minnie haha Comments (0)  




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